Daughters

One of the few things that I truly desire in this world is a daughter.  I hope that Inshallah one day, when I am happily married that I am blessed with at least one.  I think that this desire comes from my desire to have a sister.  I’ve never had a sister and so the way I see it, having a daughter would a good alternative. 

Its funny because the last few Jummas that I have gone to, I’ve been distracted  by the cute little daughters that the Uncle’s in front of me struggle to take control of.  They are just so cute.  Some of them will come in with their cute little hijabs on, getting wholly irritated when it doesn’t stay on their heads…when I see a little girl it just melts my heart. Everything about them; their hair, the way they cry and bug their parents, their innocence, their eyes, their smile, their laughter…just everything.

I frequently lay in bed and wonder what it would be like to have a daughter; how wonderful and colourful life would be.  I would just love to dress her up and decorate her with all the little girly things you can get at the store.  I just know that once I have a daughter, I’ll be grabbing every hair bow, every frock, every doll and anything else that baby girls play with.  I always picture myself taking her to the park or to Chucky Cheese’s and just watching her play and be happy.  I picture myself taking her to school on her first day, consoling her if she started crying and utterly missing her while I am at work.  I picture coming home after work and having her run up to me and hug and kiss me and tell me that she missed me.

I would love to watch as she grows and matures into a beautiful young woman, with her own ideas and accomplishments.  Frequently I can imagine having conversations about anything and everything; being a friend to her, having her confide in me, coming to me with her problems and concerns.  I imagine fighting with her, laughing with her, crying with her.  I imagine feeling crushed when something doesn’t go her way and feeling jubilant when everything goes her way.  I just imagine her…being.

I can’t wait until she is born.  I can’t wait until she starts crawling and walking.  I can’t wait until she begins to speak.  I can’t wait until she begins to develop her own thoughts and ideas.  I can’t wait until she grows up and gets married, has her own husband and kids.  I cannot wait until that one day where she realizes that she is truly happy. 

I consider daughters to be a gift from God.  They are like this little peice of heaven that God gives us to enjoy.  They are truly blessings of Allah.  Daughters become sisters, wives, mothers, grandmothers and in some cases, great grandmothers.  They keep humanity constant.  They bring life and happiness to a household.  They bring colour and goodwill, caring and love into a family. 

To this day, I cannot understand how people treat their daughters in the manner that they do.  All to frequently I hear of mothers and fathers treating their daughters as if they were a piece of meat, a slave or something that can be replaced.  Even as I write this post, I am speaking to a friend who is living in a poisonous environment at home.  I can’t understand these honour killings and how a father or the entire family can drive themselves to kill their daughters.  Perhaps I am naive.  Perhaps I will never understand it.  But everytime I hear a story like that, my heart breaks.  To do that to something that is so beautiful…its just heartbreaking.

I have already selected a list of names to consider for my daughter.  And as soon as I am in a position to do so, I will set up a little savings account for my daughter that I will give to her when she enters university.  I also want to set up a small savings account for her wedding.  There is a particular reason for this.  I once went to a wedding of this girl that I vaguely knew.  Sparing the details, her wedding ended up happening in their two bedroom townhouse in an area of the city that wasn’t the greatest.  Her mother was a sweetheart; one of the nicests and most endearing people I know.  Anyways, her daughter was having the wedding in their tiny little townhouse.  There were tires outside on the lawn.  The stairs were creaking when she came down.  There was hardly any room for us to sit.  There were spiders crawling on the carpet.  I can’t really describe it but it was just heartbreaking.  This Auntie did not deserve to have her daughter be married in the way she had.  And it wasn’t really her fault.  Circumstances were as such that they had no alternative.  I couldn’t bare to look at either Auntie or her daughter in the eye because I was embarrassed for them.  Again, it was utterly heartbreaking.  After that day, I vowed that I would never let me daughter go through something like this.  I vowed to save up money and give her the wedding of her dreams.

Even if I were to be denied every other desire for the rest of my life, I would consider my life complete to have even one daughter.  And Inshallah, I pray that Allah grants me this one wish of mine.

Amen.