I Feel Like a Lamp Post.

this is what i feel like

I have not yet come to the terms with the fact that people have moved on.  And for whatever reason, I can’t accept the fact that they have moved on without me.  I feel like I am static, like a lamp post.  I see everyone around me moving on with their lives, going to bigger and better places.  And I am still there, in the same spot, stuck, unable to move.  And even if I wanted to move, I don’t know where I want to go.  Everyone is married, having kids, going to grad school, going on trips and travelling.  Everyone is having fun, socializing, making new friends, creating relationships and all that stuff.  I may or may not be doing that, I honestly can’t see.  I need a change desperately but there is no way out.  Just like that light post, I am stuck where I am.  And with the recent events of the past 5 months, I think I have pretty much sealed my fate here in this city.  Just like a lamp post…I provide light where needed but I don’t get anything in return.  Not that I want anything in return, but it would be nice to be appreciated every now and then.  Its not that life is bad or anything.  I don’t sit and wallow in sorrow, far from it.  Its more of observation and realization.  I just want to be happy that’s all.  That’s what we are all looking for.  I have never seen a lamp post happy, ever. 


One response to “I Feel Like a Lamp Post.

  1. Maybe it requires a black-out to appreciate the dark. When there’s a power failure, sometimes people stumble into new things. One thing can lead to another. There is that old joke about looking for lost keys under a street light because that’s where the light is, even though the keys were not lost there. There was a great cascading black-out that started in Ohio quite awhile ago, and I think there was a lot of stumbling around in the dark:
    Love Cascade
    The lovely streetlights
    that lit the way to loneliness
    went to faults in vision
    where then
    there was darkness
    and I said it was Good

    The blackout did not
    keep me from sin
    as I crawled in the dark
    and you knew my loneliness

    Because we’d known
    the peninsula and breast of
    Cleavage, Ohio, where
    condom- minions failed to stop
    cascading networks
    at brown light’s last gleaming
    we made
    a blackout baby; oh
    baby, my love, we are
    creators of life

    Do say you can see
    we can power-up the dawn,
    hailing the darkness
    in the glow of new life, he
    flicking his tongue
    like a frog son
    looking for flies of power
    to preach heaven from
    a swamp of arrogance, but
    tell him that

    cobblestone frogs’ green pebble
    pathways are more practical than
    steps or stairs staring at heaven or
    stained glass windows in empty churches
    where doors lead nowhere but to
    fools’-altered-ashes altars that
    brag of salvation that never comes
    in air staled by indoor drudge,
    more practical to practice dilly dally down
    alleyways paved outside conventions
    aside the rivulets of decisions made
    to splash the face of
    inattention to subtle marvels
    rolling like marbles unlaced from pouches
    carried too long not playing the game
    of jumping frogs of wisdom; if unwise
    we endanger him with tornados
    of locomotive havoc, family trains

    that heat the ground of insecurity
    like cold faux fronts chilling fear
    feelings in calm heat before
    thunder storms the angry stages,
    tornadic platforms launched

    tearing up the power lines
    blowing down straw houses
    possessing the winds of power
    above all others towering
    a swath of dominance
    for him, our new King
    down damnation road.

    Flying cowed subjects
    tangled in debris, will
    bow down to his
    easy whirl win

    In this storm his façade stands
    superior in color and stately design
    the abode of the upper lip
    stiff service to fortune
    by making turmoil spin
    the wheels of obsession,
    but he is not
    the only tornado blowing
    trains of thought
    down power tracks
    we started

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