I wish I were a child.

Why does reality suck so much?  In my experiences, it doesn’t matter how good life is at the moment, its never as good as one wants it to be.  There is always something, that one little thing that ruins it.  As much as one works to control their circumstances, one is never able to live a truly peaceful, fulfilling life.  That, I guess is the nature of reality.  And by virtue of that, it is pretty much impossible to escape. 

So the best way to get away from reality is to fantasize.  Imagine a reality that is far from the one we experience – one where everything is perfect.   A place where happiness and relief rule, where bliss is is sunlight and enchantment is moonlight.  To me, right here at this time, the smile of this girl is what embodies all of this:

moonlight

 Her eyes and her smile are my escape.  The fact that she is a child emboldens the look of shear happiness, clearly expressed in her eyes.  Not a care or worry in the world blankets her face.  Her pudgey cheeks give a sense of playfulness that only a child can express.  Her hand resting on her chin indicates her intelligence but at the same time displays a level of chilaak-ness (sorry, I can’t translate chilaak into English) which you can see in both her eyes and in her smile.  Freedom riegns in her reality.  A perfect, innocent life. 

That brings me ultimately to this thought.  If I could wish for one thing, it would be my wish to go back to childhood – to be like the girl in the picture.  Care free with no real accountability to anyone.  The life of a child is truly the best reality has to offer.  I say this for a few reasons.  One, because a child does not realize reality wholly, they do not ponder it as much as an older person does.  This can be attributed to the fact that they are young.  They live for the moment because that moment is their reality.  I have seen this first hands on the streets of Pakistan.  My recent trip there allowed me to see the poorest of the poor.  But the children…despite their deplorable conditions, they still looked like the girl in the picture.  They still had this rush of resilience coursing through them.  Despite having nothing, they still live as if they have everything.  Second, a child’s worries can disappear in a matter of seconds.  A child could fall down and get hurt but as soon as he or she finds something to distract him or her from the pain, a toy for example, all is forgotten.  Reality for a child can change in a matter of seconds.  This isn’t the case for young adults (I won’t use the word adult because I am not that old yet). 

For me, this picture is my wish.  I have considered ‘sleeping forever’ as a wish but sleep implies dreams.  And dreams are more often than not irrational, inconsistent and one doesn’t really have full control over their dreams.  But it is a good second option.  The life of a child is as close to a perfect reality as humans will ever get to.  It is this false sense of escape that allows me to cope with this harshness of reality.  An artificial sense of comfort and the idea that I too, was once a child for an unknown reason give me the energy to move on.  Why? I have no idea. 

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One response to “I wish I were a child.

  1. hey, very powerful!
    I think you got it right that a child LIVES in reality – this is normally a problem with an adult, for he has lost this sence…
    I guess it is the power of innicence that moved you on!!!
    If you will get this back, many things will look very different in your life.

    Two of my post from my new blog

    http://www.1000petals.wordpress.com

    may be intresting for you 🙂

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